Nobody Asked You
If you’re in a band and having arguments, which means you’re in a band, because they all have arguments all the time, ask yourself: What do these people want from me? What is my role in the band? And then ask yourself, am I supposed to be doing anything extra?
First, check and make sure that you’re doing all these things. And then see if you’re butting in on other things and giving opinions. As you’re well aware, nobody cares what you think about things unless they ask. And they’re not going to ask.
My guess is that the problems don’t lie with your job and the extra stuff that you have to do, but with you nosing around in the other stuff. Or maybe there’s stuff that you’re doing that no one asks you to do, and you can just stop doing these.
This is the case with me today. I’m going to stop doing certain things and see if it improves my attitude.
And if you stop doing the stuff that nobody asked you to do, you can spend more time on the stuff that you need to do. There are always parts and songs you can work on. In my case, there are two or three songs that always give me problems that I could sit down and memorize. And then, of course, work harder on background vocals. That’s always something for me, since I’m a bassist, and you really have to work at singing and playing at the same time.
This is what made me think of this today. Do I want to be in this band? If so, why? If not, why? Is there anything I can do to change either feeling? Does it hurt others around you? Does it make trouble, or does it make peace?
These are all decision matrix items that I think are the reason why young bands don’t make it, but old bands can last forever. Because people have figured it out. Especially if you have children. Then you’re used to living for other people besides yourselves.